themonsterinmypocket

I never expected that my biggest battle in life would be my own brain. My own mind. I made this page so I could share the truth about living with anorexia - the fears, the rituals, and more persistently the voice that never ever leaves. So I guess this story is about the monster I carry. It doesn’t have a face, but it has a voice. It tells me who I am allowed to be, what Im allowed to eat and dictates my everyday life. Some days it’s just a whisper. But on other days, it’s a scream. 

There’s a version of me somewhere that exists outside of anorexia. I know she’s out there, maybe in a different universe and I just got the short straw in the draw. Anorexia is not just about food, it’s about control, identity, safety, and loss. Its voice convinces me it’s protecting me, and keeping me safe, but in reality, that voice is killing me. And that’s what this blog is for, documenting my thoughts, the thoughts anorexia has that take over my brain and leave me powerless in its shadow.

So here goes nothing.